Types of Gifts

People give a lot of gifts this time of year, with varying motives and effects. For whatever reason I was thinking about the different kinds of gifts, especially the less noble ones. So here is a memory dump on the different types.

Charitable

A charitable gift is when you see a need or want in someone else, and your only motive in giving is to fulfill that need. Ideally this type of gift is given anonymously, so that the recipient is not burdened with the need to repay you, and so that their gratitude can only be directed toward God. (This is obviously the kind of gift mentioned in Matthew 6:2-4.)

Sentimental

It’s a slightly different story when you’re giving a gift to a friend or family member. You generally put “From: Me” on the tag so they know it’s from you. It’s not to force them into gratitude; rather, it’s because this type of gift is motivated less from fulfilling a need as from a desire to express appreciation for a relationship. If this type of gift were sent anonymously, it would actually become less meaningful, since the recipient would not know that you were thinking of him or her.

Transactional

A transactional gift is when you give something with the expectation or hope of getting something in return. An example would be an item in a gift exchange – you bring a gift, but you may feel shafted if you leave with something less cool than what you brought. Another example would be company swag (designed to boost morale and loyalty).

This type of gift has no moral value, positive or negative. It’s essentially a business investment. And that’s fine, as long as that’s what you intend it to be. The problem comes when you give a gift that’s ostensibly charitable, but really you want something in return. For instance, you give a decoration and then get mad if you don’t see it displayed. You were acting like you were giving a sentimental gift, when really you were asking for a favor. (Same story if you give a wedding gift and then get offended when they re-gift it.)

Implied Obligation

This category is more complicated and is sort of orthogonal to the others. The idea here is that you give a gift, and you expect nothing in return, but receiving the gift implies some obligation – not to the giver, but to some third party. And this is always a bad thing.

For instance, if you drop by your neighbors’ house and give them a new puppy (without any hint on their part that they would like one), you may leave feeling like you have given them something, when really you have asked them to spend money to keep the puppy healthy and to feed it every day for the rest of its life. Or else they have to go to the hassle of finding it a new home. The gift you have given is essentially of negative value.

That may seem obvious, but you do see this kind of thing in normal life. I’m trying to come up with a more common example but it escapes me at the moment. But if you catch yourself planning something like this, stop!