Ideals, Standards, and being “Bimoral”

Once when I was talking to my brother, he used the word Bimoral, and I found the idea kind of inspiring. I guess it’s a euphemistic term to refer to hypocrisy. It’s where you have two sets of values – one that you have most of the time, and it’s extremely strict. When people talk about honesty or charity, you feel good because you tell yourself that that’s the kind of person you are. But then, when you come up against a situation where acting on that set of values would have a negative influence on you, you switch to your backup moral code, which isn’t quite as strict. But then, once you’ve done what you felt would be in your best interest, you switch back to your strict moral code, because that’s who you “really” are. Of course, that’s complete bunk. Situations like that are exactly why having values is important – anyone can value what’s right when they’re not tempted to do what’s wrong. But that doesn’t stop us all from being bimoral once in a while.

A related concept is the difference between ideals and standards. This is illustrated when you hear someone say “<blank> is ideal, but it just doesn’t work for me.” There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as what you’re saying doesn’t work for you isn’t a moral necessity, like not stealing. But it is very different from saying “I will <blank>, no matter what.” The only reason I bring this up is that I think a lot of people value things, and they rest assured that they will act based on those values, but they have never considered circumstances under which they might feel pressure to do something else. (Again, I’m not necessarily talking about moral values here.) So it’s important to do that – not just think about what you value, but about what things are absolutely essential to you, to the extent you won’t compromise on them.

By the way, for reasons unrelated to anyone who will ever read this (just in case someone was worrying), the distinction between standards and ideals that drives me insane the most is “I’m not ready.” And I’m not talking about when something has to be done by a deadline, and you’re not ready to finish it yet. I’m talking about when you acknowledge that something is morally necessary now and try to excuse yourself by saying you’ll do it later. Imagine that someone shows up at your house and says “I know honesty and integrity are essential, but I’m not ready to live that way right now. So I’m going to rob you. Don’t worry; I haven’t lost my set of values. I’m just not ready to live them yet.” You would probably not be very impressed.

[By the way, I’m not directing the preceding comments at any particular person. Really. So don’t get offended if you think I am.]