Nukeluking

In what may well be a mutant ability, I can twitch my finger tendons back and forth over my knuckles. My brother (just a few years old at the time) named it “Nukeluking.”

I’m not sure how to embed the videos without putting them on YouTube or something, but here are links to them on SkyDrive:

• Nukeluk Movie 1
• Nukeluk Movie 2

 

I have heard of other people being able to do this, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen it done. Certainly not on all fingers. (Only the middle finger came naturally. I expanded my abilities in fourth grade, although it hurt the first time I did it. I do not recommend developing this particular power.)

Bad Haiku

I have been guilty
Of putting Haiku poems
Where they shouldn’t go.

You know, like at work.
Out of office reply mail.
Instant message notes.

Some deal with Haiku.
But not all of them, you see.
So don’t bail out yet.

---

A bad idea
Is to write Haiku poems.
So please don't do it.

Once you get started,
It is difficult to quit.
It's quite addictive.

Instant message notes
are exactly the wrong place
to put your Haiku.
 
When out of office,
Keep your auto-replies clean
Of pointless Haiku.

 
The angry guy said,
"Get the heck out of here, punk!"
It was poetry.
 
The bank robber said,
"Give me all your money, now!"
Poetry, as well.

 
The time has arrived.
It is unsolicited.
Another Haiku.

Weird Stuff

Here are some pictures of weird stuff I’ve run across:

 

This is a wrapper for some Hershey’s chocolate. But, “Dark Promises?” Sounds like a threat or something.

In the daylight it says “Wheel Parts”, but at night the store’s true identity is revealed.

I sure am glad they gave us a numbered list, or I might have gotten lost.

Have you ever heard of cheese that was only only 50% grated?

Just over half a cent – but in this economy everything helps, I guess.

Since “mattress” is not part of the store’s name, they must have meant you should park mattresses there.

Yeah, I love how improper wiring is a safety feature.

The Plasma Master – Published!

I wrote a science fiction story about a decade ago. After a bit of polishing, I decided to self-publish it as an e-book. It's not really a business venture, although of course the prospect of it being actually read is appealing. If nothing else, this way I can document that I didn't copy stuff that came out later. (I'm a little paranoid that even now people will think I'm copying some recent movies.) See details on the page tab above.

Thanks to Kevin for the cover art and copious editing advice!

Today’s Quiz

The phrase “‘Ain’t’ ain’t a word” is inappropriate because (choose one):

A. It is hypocritical

B. It is cliché

C. “Ain’t” is in fact a word

D. The correct grammar would be “’Ain’t’ ain’t no word.”