Friday, July 31, 2015

Troop Cheer

The scouts I was working with needed some cheers for camp this summer, so I figured I’d help them out. The scouts weren’t fans, but I will grace the world with the best of them. (Actually one of the scouts helped with this, even though he didn’t think it was a good idea.)

Leader: Proud declaration!
    Group: Fervid agreement!
Leader: Obvious question?
    Group: Overly enthusiastic response!
Leader: Tired reference!
    Group: Stupid Rhyme!
All: Excited self-identification!

You’re welcome.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Bad Ads

Here are some Internet ads that aren’t saying what they’re trying to say.

#1:

Canadian Questions

Huh. I didn’t know they had different kinds of questions in Canada. But whatever they are, apparently they don’t have anything to do with the Product.

#2. This one is even worse than I realized at first – I read “ends”. Either way, it’s bad.

LifeWellLivedEndsSoon

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Farewell e-mails: don’t mention fish

I have seen a lot of farewell e-mails from people taking a job at a different company in which they say “So long and thanks for all the fish.” Ha ha, they’re leaving and they mention the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Funny, right?

Only if you don’t think about it at all. [The following might sound like a spoiler but it’s not; it’s from like the first few pages of the book.] The dolphins use that phrase as their final farewell after leaving Earth. They have tried to warn the humans of the impending destruction of the planet, but the humans didn’t listen and haven’t sensed the danger. So the sentiment behind that message is “You are doomed. I’m kind of sad about it because you're nice, but I’m not going down with you.”

Not exactly the sentiment you want to convey to your former co-workers when switching jobs.