The Christmas [Blank]

You know how there are a zillion Christmas movies, books, and TV specials with titles like “The Christmas” plus something else? It occurred to the authors that the formulas used in these stories could probably be applied – or shattered – using just about any noun in a title like that. So we came up with a new tradition.

The rules are simple:

1. Open a Christmas book and point to a random spot on a random page.
2. Scan along the text until you come to a noun.
3. Write that story.

So a few of us did this last December, and I finally have them formatted and published as a free e-book.

This collection currently contains three entries:
* The Christmas File: a pseudo-romantic pseudo-drama
* The Christmas Hamburger: a children's story
* The Christmas Head: A brilliantly weird picture book... I don't know how else to describe it.

Food Texture

Some foods have a gross texture; that’s just a fact. Once in a while I’ll hear someone deny this fact, usually in condemnation of someone else who doesn’t want to eat a particular dish based on its texture. “It all ends up the same once you swallow it,” the complainer might say. Or at the very least, they point out that it has the same ingredients as some other food. I must say I’m a little surprised about this argument. To anyone who finds himself or herself raising such a complaint, I offer the following challenge: The next time you are about to eat your favorite meal, put it through the blender first. If you enjoy it just as much, you have clearance to complain about others’ pickiness about texture all you want. But if you don’t, or if you can’t bring yourself to do it, then I think you’ll be forced to agree that it is perfectly legitimate to hate food based on how it feels.